Written on 12/13/2011 01:10:00 AM by Kit Leong
I would say that asides my convocation,this was one of my most important nights to me that I can remember.
Whats most important that as of now,Im starting to really believe and have confidence in myself. Yea I still got a long shot with lotsa OCD/health wars running in my head which obviously has to be addressed as well,but here comes the other fear:
One day,I will totally own this war I've been against for so long,it started before I even realized it,and it might end before I even notice it. And than what? This better not be a case of Spira's citizen's losing their purpose in life after Sin is gone,so much for the Eternal Calm =__=
Maybe by than,I would have new challenges,challenges I had always been dreaming of,not the fucked up ones Im facing now,but maybe during that time it will all make sense that its just to toughen up them chicken breast to rock solid shit-ly baked cakes that u can build a house with XD.The big bad wolf will huff and a puff,and the house wont collapse XDXD
For God said that He hath a plan for you,not to forsake you but to prosper you. That will always be my all time favourite verse. Yes I nvr imagined myself growing up, I always thought I would die young, and that freaked me out.Im not scared of death itself, but Im afraid of not accomplishing all the things I wanted to do in life.
But today,I just realized Im a step closer to it accomplishing among those things I want all thanks to you.Maybe you're just another hill,or even a mountain I have to climb to get to the valley.Or maybe you are the mountain I need to reach the top and build my house up there. No the theme song isnt Truly Madly Deeply where I literally want to stand on a mountain with you,its just...
I cant help but think how utterly awesome I'm getting of late,so dont let lil OCD things get in the way of urself feeling pretty fucking smug abt urself XD
Oh the victory theme of the night is actually Crowd Chant by Joe Satriani :D
Written on 12/12/2011 12:29:00 AM by Kit Leong
HI DEAR DEAD BLOG!!ITS BEEN SHO SHO LONGGGG....
woo hoooo so great to be back,if I was son goku,i would be flying around doing aerobics cuz it just feels SOO GREAT TO BE BACK!!
why else does it feel so great?well its cuz i havent recorded my thoughts here or in my diary in a really long time,cuz there was nothing to record abt,but today,there is...
as mentioned above,has it really been 2 years plus already?my God,this is mind boggling,i thought the previous almost 1 year was long enough,nothing has lasted this long
it seems that even after 2 years,this story is not yet over,no,far from it,its just picking up slowly,very slowly,and this will certainly be a 1st of sorts for this category,why?
simply becuz,levelling up is awesome,even squall leonhart aint gonna take on no omega weapon at level 1,he's gonna get his lionheart 1st,lotsa holy wars,meltdown spells,and of cuz,stack up them aura stones!!
im not sure if im there yet,but i definitely picked up a thing or 2,lessons learnt,save thy game b4 trying to kill the beast,if u fail,level up summore,and try again,life is all abt intergrating those void stones and ring of healths!!
i dont think i'll kill omega weapon 2mr,im just gonna harass it and see how much damage i can dent it in,and after that?TRY AGAIN!! KILL IT!!!
this is MY story,no one else's,and to those who want to be in it,ur welcomed to be in it,for those who dont want to,well,piss of and see if I care :D
i think the only faggot in this world that would get it,his name is teh je sen :D
Written on 2/17/2011 10:13:00 PM by Kit Leong
things may or may NOT;
have just gotten very fucking much more interesting of late :D
Written on 1/30/2011 10:27:00 PM by Kit Leong
This issue definitely needs to be addressed in the near future....
Wouldnt wanna make others in line that wants it,waiting now,would I?lolol....
Written on 12/25/2010 01:59:00 AM by Kit Leong
Dear Lord;
You really never cease to keep me amused with all sorts of irony in my life,and what a coincedence that its Christmas Day too,that will make this date VERY easy to remember =D.Is this yet another Christmas surprise You have in store for me?Well of course I try my best,and leave to You,the rest.But its things like these I think the order is reversed,You create opportunities for me,and the rest is up to me.
Well,I have learnt how to cherish EVERY single opportunity like these and try my best to make the best out of it,but seriously,I didn't think You had something else ready for me to be on the go THAT soon,I usually need more time to cope with it,but hei,looks like Wolverine's healing factor just kicked in.
Bring it on!!I'm ready for it,I can juggle BOTH of it at the same time,I'm not that incompetant of a student 3 years ago that I couldnt even handle ONE of these things at a time.Time to go for goal with them,ahem,double whammies =D
But really,I'm smilling now,alot,deja vu's like these are simply the best,like this..
XDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXD
Written on 12/17/2010 12:25:00 AM by Kit Leong
writings above my bed,writings above my bed;
a year goes by,i still keep it,with all but one,nought but said;
a year goes by,i get older;
a year goes by,i thank god,for once i'm becoming bolder =D
All projects are definitely looking up in more aspects than one,divide and conquer is the way,division is done,now to move on to the next phase of conquering the integration of the division.
For God once divided the world,and it was called Peleg.
Now I will combine it all to yield my magnum opus,and if all goes well,I might even call it,my magnum opera instead :D
Those who dwell in the past dwell in a fate worst than death,for even the dead move on,to the afterlife that is.
Onward to the infinite possibilities that lie ahead :D
Written on 12/05/2010 10:00:00 PM by Kit Leong
Dear dead blog,
It seems today is another day I realize yet again,something else.I seem to realize similarly themed things like this of late,and thats a good thing,it shows progress in all aspects as an adult =D
Looks like the Rubicon I thought I crossed,was a doppelganger,a decoy,in short,as admiral akbar would say,ITS A TRAP!!
having said that,its still to soon to ascertain trap or not,but it definitely opens up my already big by asian standards,well...eyes XD...or is it that there are always many different roads to the same destination?
Im very inclined to believe in the latter,but it definitely is all a bunch of different roads,some of which I have no regrets about =D
but you gotta always be on the move,anyone that stands still in the open is bound to get shot in the head like in CS or something...
Written on 7/14/2010 12:05:00 AM by Kit Leong
dear dead blog...i just came to a startling conclusion today..something i'm totaly not surprised about it myself at all..not one bit...and one day....i'll look back at this day,this exact point of time,a now possible turning point in my life....and see if this turns out what i think this road will lead,we'll see....
Written on 6/16/2010 10:18:00 PM by Kit Leong
u have no idea how happy u make me...at the same time how foul my mood gets because of u....yet at the same time its not i'm foul because i hate u...i hope it will nvr come to that one day...cuz i'm tired of hate and self hate..its not good for health lol....
Written on 4/02/2010 12:15:00 AM by Kit Leong
ok dear blog i really feel neutral now..in a weird sort of way......neutral means not feeling happy nor sad..but now i feel neutral as in i just got fucked but yet things didnt turn out so bad..so yea its like uber hot n uber cold until now equilibrium..no actualy not equilibirum..i still feel happy...at least i had some balls 2day to do it......i said 2 js..ok fuck thurs no excuse..operasi gerak khas must take place n things one thing lead to another..though it wasnt the anser i was expecting but i realy am just cool with it =)...hei at least i'm not getting ignored n we just..talk la..i'm happy..even if its just..talking =)..i guess tat makes me a very...simple guy?is tat a good thing dear blog?but u noe.....i have to be strong..i have to not only carry my own burden(which isnt much)i have to be strong too....for other ppl..cuz i noe i can be their strength at times like dis..i'm no mother theresa..but i'll always keep one thing in mind...i'm a christian....so i'll let ppl see that theres something different abt me.not cuz i play the violin..its cuz i can be there for dem when dey nid me n expect nothing in return..time to show some ppl good old fashion love from Jesus =D
nites blog...i am happy....really...even if it didnt exactly score 2nite..but....yea....at least i did it..learn something from the past 2 years ago...have some balls n dont just go with any lamo bimbo =D
Written on 3/12/2010 12:25:00 AM by Kit Leong
Hi agn bitch!i dun have my diary,so you sa bitch all I got yo mother fucker XD
See today is 11th march of 2010..lame 1 year anniversary of something so godamn lame I dont even have the balls to speak of it here,only for my diary,sorry blog =O.Anyway,man,its fun how dates play out,so ironic.TEE HEE HEE.But ya really,if you want something,than do something don't fucking sit and mop around and fold your fucking arms.See things didn't turn out bad at all now did it?Just don't be a puss,take a deep breathe and PLUNGE*!!and feels good doenst it?but something else worries me more.Do I just like the fact of something new,mysterious and unfamiliar that it seems so intoxicating?what happens if I do become familiar with it?will it end up like the trinity sisters?Ok that thought,scares the fuck out of me =.=.I dont know,I really don't.I still don't know myself well enough to say for sure.But I will say one thing before I go and sleep...
Yay Im happy again tonight to go to sleep.See,just go bitch!dont be afraid,grow some balls after them scrotum.Ok that things for sure and I know at least things are picking up abit now.Its not that bad now issit?XD
Written on 3/08/2010 03:34:00 AM by Kit Leong
Hello!Well sad to say ur 2nd choice cuz i didnt bring my diary with me to jie's hse ...so i'll just have to make do with u dearie....
Anyway,well,today isnt exactly about ranting.Its weird,I'm writing this as I study and its late again.I always sleep late damn =.=.But its funny that I'm studying,and yet I'm thinking.Well no its not those 'thinking to much situations'.I really,see things,a little bit clearer,day by day,about myself.Ironic that I see myself better like this rather than looking at myself in a mirror everyday.No I don't mean that kinda mirror.More like I need a,spiritual mirror?To tell me,what to do next,whats your issues,what to do about yourself.But yes,slowly,I see things better and better.Ok fine its slow,real slow,but I know its gonna take me somewhere.But where?when?how?I look around and things seem well...things around me move faster than my 'self realizing'.Will I be to old until I learn enough to know what to do?That bothers me,but I'm still young,relatively,well,I'm in my early 20s and time ain't stopping for you forever boy =.=.So when are you gonna learn enough to make a move?Man I can hear that Switchfoot song in my head now although I'm listening to Die mutha fucker Die in actual fact.But yea this things really make you feel about your inadequacies.But at the same time I'm excited.Excited about the future,what it holds for me,at the rate I'm going,I'm bound to reach somewhere sometime in my life.I cant wait for it.Ohhh the anticipation.Some people say the anticipation of things is better than the thing itself.I hope not,I hope the thing itself will be even better.Awesomeness=D.But yea,slowly,very slowly,I'm beginning to know and understand myself more and more.So ironic I'm having difficulty with myself,of all the people in the world.LOL!oh well,back to abit more notes and than sleep.CHEERS FOR THE FUTURE!=D
Written on 3/03/2010 12:51:00 AM by Kit Leong
HI agn dear dead blog!!=D=D
i'm just abt to sleep before an ass wipe class of 8am tommorrow and once again i really fucking hate programming,but just swallow it n shut up,I want to graduate.I just won't do this as my bread and butter,just you wait!
anyway thats not the point,its time for random emotional outburst again!!=D.No today wont be ranting,today is bright and sunny =D.And you know what?msn should really suck my cock one of these days?Real life is dao wei,no matter how lame it is what you say,no matter how stupid,the facial expressions,the body language,and most of all,those eyes says it all =D.Ok Im not good at reading body languages so I wont say much about it,its just,well,it feels,better?AHAHAHA..but anyway ya...random outburst today is yayy...happy again =D...feels good to be happy before you go to sleep =D.
NITE!!MUAHHH
p.s. I cant stop thinking about you,how I want to hold you and cuddle you again,my sweetie darling nephew JASON YONG CHERN YAO!!HAHAHHAHA kao fu thinks about you all the time sweetie pie <3<3<3<3
Written on 1/21/2010 02:02:00 AM by Kit Leong
for the love of christ can sumwan tell me WHYY..wats wrong....always facing wrong directions...its NOT IN THE RIGHT DIRECTION AND I AM GETTING FUCKING SICK AND FED UP TO THE FUCKING CORE OF MY HUMAN BODY SYSTEM TAT I JUST WANNA SCREAM....u sometimes need a godamn mirror to deflect away wat comes to u tats unwanted..and some..detector thingy..to pick up wat IS wanted but isnt exactly facing ur direction..but is around...in reach...i suppose o.O?all my life..only once was it right..well sort of..for awhile..pathetic...and annoying at the same time..so...so..very fucking annoying....and sleepy....what the hell am i doing even staying up now..i shud just go to bed =.=
Written on 1/08/2010 11:33:00 PM by Kit Leong
ARGH shit dear dead blog agn...it was an impulse...wasnt tinking straight....shudnt have done it nooooooooo...i hate tat heart sinking feeling agn....dumb dumb dumb DUMBBBBBBBBBBBB.......i wonder what will happen next....or rather when....LOL!
Written on 1/05/2010 05:19:00 PM by Kit Leong
Dear dead blog.....HIIIIIII HOW ARE YOUUUU?i always write here on you to rant and rave...but you know what?not today!!!
I'm actually...in a really good mood now and really really HAPPY!!!!!have you been happy before dead blog?well i am now....WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE =D=D=D=D=D=D=D=D=D=D
Written on 12/12/2009 12:19:00 AM by Kit Leong
hot and cold at the same time...makes u feel weird...u feel both sensation at the same time..every year its the same old thing...but the good and the bad at the same time...usually the good outweights the bad....YES!!GOOD GUYS ALWAYS WIN!..but being the weakling mortal i am unfortunately...i tend to always look at wats not good rather den appreciating whats good..so yea..tats one of my fucking problems lul....but seriously..it is very ironic how each year it really IS the same old old godamn scenario over and over again...Jesus zzzz =___= i need to break out of this cycle..no actualy this cycle is good already...i'm just a greedy perfectionist bastard that i want it to be perfect....and once again its ironic how i know exactly whats missing but yet o.o....cough....wtf am i even babbling about...i should be studying now and i'm rambling nonsense over here....its like putting a piece of carrot in front of the donkey...each time the donkey moves forward thinking its gonna get it..it doenst...it moves where it wants to be...where the carrot USED to be..but the carrot moved on...its like a never ending chase.....this whole thing is the correct sine wave...just always being in the wrong phase in its propogation..yea tats exactly what this is..amazing how i can come up with this spontaneous shit as i make it up as i go..but URGHHHH so frusfrating...i bet the cycle repeats next year with the new thing replacing the old only to end up having the same result....like perpecutaly changing a faulty part of your car...each time you fix it its the same godamn part that goes wrong and you have to keep replacing it...only to break down again sooner or late.r.but y am i complaining...i should be diabetic now with joy..which actualy i am...but like i said..like it or not i got a fucking problem and keep harping on whats not good rather than smiling at what IS good...no wait..i already did smile at whats good..alot...through out the day...so i guess once i'm done smiling...i look at the overall picture of things so I see the stuff i don't like as well..so yea...geez.....need to get the perfect cycle already godamnit ~~~~~~~~~
Written on 11/21/2009 05:34:00 PM by Kit Leong
ahhh...feels much better now....never should i underestimate your power,so clear,so fine,so crisp,so straight forward and clear cut,never failing and never dissapointing in all endeavours,YOUS IS THE BEST AND THE BOMB AND THE BEST BOMB EVAAAA!!=D=D=D
Written on 11/17/2009 03:13:00 AM by Kit Leong
Should a person be satisfied with their growth as a person up till a certain point?When and where should one draw the line?Sometimes,the more you grow,the more you learn about yourself,the more you see your own weaknesses,and thats an important step of growth.,knowing whats wrong and improving from there.But seeing all those weaknesses,heaps and heaps of it,where does one even start?Its such a huge mountain,doens't it make you feel you don't even want to begin and just leave it as it is?Seeing all this mess,hell,isn't that going to lead to even more insecurities??zzz =____=
Written on 11/04/2009 11:06:00 PM by Kit Leong
i know its been forever since i wrote anything here,but it doens't matter people won't check dead blogs anymore to see what i wrote,just need to rant...never thought stuff like this will be my comeback post....anyway here goes..
CIBAIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!!!!!!!!!FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!STUPID STUPID STUPID STUPID STUPID DUMB DUMB DUMB DUMB GO BANG HEAD ON WALL AND DIEEEEEEEEEE!!!!
ZZZZZZZZZZZZ=____________________________________________=
